Missing some fatherly advice
Mark Pavilons

Dear Dad,

It's been nine years since you left on your final voyage home. I hope the trip was worth it.

There have been times, more so recently, when I really could have used some fatherly advice. While you weren't the greatest at letting your feelings be known, I know some of your quips and words of wisdom would come in handy. They would have at least made me smile.

The more complicated things get, the greater the need for peace of mind. I could really use a pat on the head, like the ones I give Liam on a daily basis. Inside every man you can find a sad, and scared little boy, at times.

And to this very day, I still seek your affection and approval. Weird, huh?

Maybe because I don't have you around, I'm more affectionate with Liam. I'm also hard on him, too, trying to mold him, prepare him for the world. Perhaps I should lay off a bit and let him enjoy his childhood as it was meant to be. I criticize him for being a goofball, but then I think of your often-used phrase about the apple not falling far from the tree. Ain't it the truth?

There was a time, not too long ago, when I tossed him up on his favorite perch - atop my shoulders. I told him that was my favorite place, too, when I was a wee one. Remember when you'd carry me back and forth in the front hallway, before dinner? I can still see your smiling face and hear the echoes of my laughter. If only the hands of time could be turned back, just a little.

Dad, let me tell you, you'd be over the moon with your only grandson, now a strapping six-year-old with as much gumption and stubbornness as curiosity and enthusiasm.

Liam has a bit of Lucifer in him and he's kind of trying at times. Sound familiar? He's busy as a bee and loves darting around the house in his Superman costume. He loves space and hopes to one day explore the stars. Like his dad, his head in literally in the clouds and his feet not quite firmly planted on the ground.

He's quite smart and a quick learner when he concentrates. He can recite lines from a movie or phrases he's heard in an almost photographic fashion. He loves soccer and there's no doubt you'd be on the sidelines with me if you could. Maybe you are.

Mom literally eats him up. She comes over almost weekly to babysit for us and shares some priceless moments. She's beaming when she leaves - a testament to the impact he has on her. I'm sure you would have loved bouncing him on your knee and laughing at his antics.

If you get a moment, stretch out those large hands of yours and give him a pat.

It's funny, you know, how much of you is in me. There are times I have to stop myself from using one of your lines, or making "that face."

I am only now realizing that fatherhood is a duty, a lifelong occupation that requires great skill, patience and responsibility. Considering the training we get (what training?) I think the Pavilons style of fathering will soon find its groove.

Remember Lexie? She was the only grandchild you held, ever so briefly, before you had to go. There's a photograph of you on the deck chair, taken during our last Father's Day together.

Some say Lexie has some of our traits, but I really can't see them. She's as beautiful as she is smart and I'm confident she will help change the world one day, as a doctor, lawyer or artist. We shared a cry at the emotional ending of The Phantom of the Opera last week. Our day together was great and I walked on air the rest of the week. I never let her out of my sight, and my protective hand was always ready for action.

If you're allowed, please extend those loving arms and give her another great, big hug.

Kyleigh, our little 22- month-old terror, is as cute as a bug, and pretty much just as messy. I'm not sure if she's inquisitive or just ornery, but she gets into everything. She's the only child to have figured out how to release the tray of her highchair with her toes, and open containers of all shapes and sizes. She'd make a heck of an escape artist or safecracker! She now takes Oma by the finger and leads her through the back yard. Oh, how picture perfect it would be for her to have her other hand similarly occupied. Your long fingers would dwarf her tiny palms, but I'm sure her gesture would melt your heart.

If you can find a way, please blow her a heavenly kiss.

Just as every fiber of my being loves these three angels, I know your heart would have been overcome with joy at the sound of their voices.

Feel free to visit any time. Bang some cupboard doors; fill up a couple of glasses with the good stuff.

I can't imagine a Father's Day with two generations of dads. It would have been glorious!

Liam told me the other day he would cry for "one hundred days" if I were to pass unexpectedly. That's the best Father's Day sentiment a guy could get!

Thinking of you.

Your Son