Who wants to live forever?
Mark Pavilons

"This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us ...

"Who wants to live forever?

"Who dares to live forever?

"When love must die."

Brian May, Queen

My verbose six-year-old son asked me the other day what really scared me.

It took me but seconds to come up with an answer - death and dying.

While I didn't want to get into a spiritual or philosophical discussion on the merits of life after death, he was satisfied with my answer.

Death scared him, too. That, and the dark.

I did try to comfort him by saying in all the years we have lived in our house, nothing bad ever emerged from the dark. There were no evil spirits lurking about and other than the occasional visit from a nocturnal rodent, our house has been silent in the night.

The mysteries of life and death - the beginning and the end - have always preoccupied our species. And for good reason, I'll bet.

In all my adult years, readings and Internet searches, I'm no closer to a definitive answer to this riddle than when I first began my journey. I suppose no one is, not even the highest of religious representatives.

Most will contend our arrival and departure are largely unremarkable. It's what happens in between that changes us and the world.

And they're right, of course.

But there are times when I lay awake at night, trying to comprehend disappearing into nothingness. I simply can't imagine the black void of the end of my existence. Perhaps my faith isn't strong enough and those creepy doubts wreak havoc with my intellect. For whatever reasons, this literally scares me to death.

It is, after all, the ultimate challenge we must all face. Does that make it any easier? Not on your life!

I have lost three close relatives in less than a decade - my father of cancer in 1998; my sister in 2001 and my uncle of cancer in 2005. While I never saw any of them take their last breaths, the sight of them motionless and cold in their hospital beds is something I can never forget.

Many say that when people suffer from a terrible disease, the end is often welcomed. While I can somewhat understand this statement, I can't agree.

Pain is something real, of this world. There is nothing like pain to remind us we're mere mortals. And pain has a habit of forcing us to rise above any challenge, and sometimes opting to stick around and not give in.

I have seen it take its toll. I would have bet big that my uncle would have gone out kicking and screaming. But that wasn't the case. He was tired. He didn't want to fight any more. I still have trouble recalling the image of friends and family members gathering around his bedside, putting his affairs in order, with his full, objective co-operation. It was as if we were making holiday plans, not wrapping up a person's life.

I'm not sure what was said between my uncle and my mother, but my guess is very little in the way of long, heartfelt speeches. There were stories of events, remembered with fondness. There were smiles and laughter around that bed.

But in the end, it's all pretty much the same - no marching bands, no fanfare, no sound at all. And that's the end of the road, regardless of one's status, accomplishments and accumulated wealth.

But I do wish for a continued journey, beyond the physical form. Who doesn't?

Whether it's in the shape of Casper the Friendly Ghost, or myself in my better years, I would love to float around the universe for all eternity, getting into heavenly mischief. I would love to keep watch on the goings-on down here on Earth, keeping tabs on my loved ones as they grow, stumble, and move forward.

But the ultimate question is can we exist in spiritual form and retain our knowledge and most of all, love?

If that's the case (and many argue that it is), none of us should be sad to leave this miserable rock. We will all one day join hand in hand, or vapour entwined with electrical energy, and combine our hearts and souls with all others in the universe. Sounds enticing.

But it's the here and now that we're concerned with.

Liam's fear of the dark is as real as my fear of death.

I am, however, somewhat comforted in the unexplained that takes place in the here and now.

Almost daily, there are tales of unimaginable occurrences and strange phenomena that can't be understood by our tiny brains.

And what of the most powerful of human emotions? Things like love, dedication, loyalty and sacrifice are things we're all intimately aware of, yet can't be explained by scientific means. Sure, certain chemicals and reactions occur in our brains and bodies when we experience such strong feelings, but how do you quantify "love" or measure "heroism?"

If we could bottle the stuff, it would be more potent than gasoline, more valuable than diamonds.

And yet, we seldom give these qualities much thought or worth. We value material goods, status and the all-nasty dollar ahead of our unique and priceless human fabric.

It's estimated that 100 billion people have died since humans appeared on Earth. We'll all be in good company one day!

Forever is our today.