Love of family carries you
Mark Pavilons

"I prayed for riches and achieved success,

All that I touched turned into gold. Alas!

My cares were greater, and my peace was less

When that wish came to pass.

I prayed for glory; and heard my name

Sung by sweet children and by hoary men.

But ah! the hurts, the hurts that came with fame!

I was not happy then.

I prayed for love, and had my soul's desire,

Through quivering heart and body and through brain

There swept the flame of its devouring fire;

And there the scars remain.

I prayed for a contented mind. At length

Great light upon my darkened spirit burst,

Great peace fell on me, also, and great strength.

Oh! had that prayer been first!"

Ella Wheeler Wilcox,

Answered Prayers

We all know the moral to this story. Yes, fellow citizens, we are embarking on the wrong path, and barking up the wrong trees.

Instead of eating from the tree of knowledge, we're scratching the bark, clawing our way to riches, fame and fortune.

But what happens when we get to the top and we're perched, like a bird, on the upper-most branches? Nice view if you can afford the price.

Like an overly optimist fool, I faithfully purchase lottery tickets, in hopes of hitting the jackpot. Why?

I am not a greedy person. Many achieve success and relative wealth through their jobs - steadily rising in the ranks, receiving regular raises, bonuses, etc. In my line of work, it's definitely a labour of love. It's now at the point where the needs of my family outweigh almost everything else.

My lottery purchases, as unfruitful as they are, are just a few of those proverbial straws.

Should my numbers come in one day, I won't jump for joy or pass out cigars on the street corner.

No, I would pay off the bills; give my wife carte blanche to purchase her dream home; and set aside enough for my kids to have a great life. I'd share a lot of it with others - friends and family members who need it. Then, my attention would turn to various charities and the wonderful service clubs who do such fine work in our community. I've even thought of passing out $100 bills to genuinely nice people I encounter during my daily errands.

To do otherwise, as the prayer at the outset of this column indicates, could have devastating results. Too many have self-destructed after huge windfalls because they were overwhelmed and perhaps didn't have a clear focus on life.

The following exercise comes courtesy of a recent sermon delivered at my church.

Name a couple of millionaires; the last 4-5 Stanley Cup winning teams and a popular runway model.

Now name a teacher who influenced you or left an impression on you.

Name 3-5 friends and family members who you love, cherish and respect.

Name a person who touched you emotionally or spiritually.

I imagine you've guessed it's much easier to take note of special people in your life, and not wealthy strangers or affluent acquaintances.

The lesson here is friends and family members will carry you through life, support you, love you and care for you.

Most of us will, however, admit that we like money, wealth, power and material goods.

A Bolton mother asked me the other day why I wasn't working for a bigger publication, making more money. "Wouldn't that make you happy?" she asked. While finding another job has become a financial necessity, the happiness card hasn't entered my thoughts. Sure, I could find a job paying twice my current salary in Mississauga, Toronto or Scarborough. If you consider the daily commute, stress and time taken away from my family, would it be worth it in the end? Would that make me happy? Not necessarily.

I think many yuppies place happiness and family on the backburner. What's important to them is a meteoric rise to the top of the ladder - the proverbial corner office with a nice view, personal assistant, and six-figure salary. Oh, and let's not forget the company expense account and company car.

There's no great secret to life and I don't have any answers to share. Other than the fact no one ever became poor from giving generously.

The same woman who asked me about my happiness is a mother of four. She undoubtedly has learned more through her parental experience than anything in life or the business world could have taught her.

When I become down, all I have to do is turn my thoughts to my family.

I recall with crystal clarity, the night I proposed to Kim on the deck of the Empire Sandy, as we cruised Lake Ontario. I remember the birth of each child like it was yesterday. I hug my mom and don't even see her gray hair or wrinkles. From time to time I think of my dad's smile and sister's laugh, and wonder how they're doing in Heaven. Hopefully, our dog Bailey managed to find them up there, and they've played a few rounds of catch.

As we all create our own life memoirs, how many of those important moments involve work, money, career, yachts and luxury automobiles? We should work like we don't need the money and pray for a contented mind and inner peace.